Gardens are part of British folklore, so when I see a gardening discussion, I can’t help but take a peek. A very British gardening discussion arose recently, detailing the worst garden trends.
American gardening is much different from its British counterpart. For one, the average American yard is five acres, which dwarfs its friends’ gardens across the pond. Therefore, it is no surprise the British can cover their much smaller outdoor spaces.
Subsequently, the British garden is a thing of beauty. Walk through any small country village in summer, and you are met with a euphony of color and floral bloom. However, as a one-time British citizen myself, I can attest that some people’s gardens border on an eyesore.
A recent post discusses the worst garden trends of all time. So here are ten garden fashion movements we don’t need to see again, as shared by the green-fingered British public.
Buddhists worldwide are outraged at this — no, that was a joke. Buddhists will mostly tell you are having a Buddha statue will add peace or harmony to the garden. There is one condition, however — the statue must not be directly on the ground.
Recycled Tires as Plant Pots
Now, would you rather see a tire go to a landfill? Of course not. Although tires can be unsightly — especially if stacked and placed on a front driveway (looking at you, brother), conservation trumps aesthetic for me. Keep them coming, gardeners!
Suburban residents who decide that they love the creeping ivy look on their homes must remember one thing — especially if living in a semi. Their neighbors didn’t ask for this, and cutting down ivy is time-consuming. Just stop.
Wind chimes used to be a gift from your backpacking aunt who had just returned from a spiritual retreat in Peru, but then they became bourgeois. A post simply reflects these devices: “Definitely a personal taste thing. The sound is either ethereal or irritating to most.”
Understandably, the garden grinches of the world consider trampolines in the neighbor’s garden an eyesore. If you have children, trampolines are a gift from God wrapped by Thor and Zeus. Sorry neighbors, they are here to stay.
I sense a little jealousy in this vote. Who wouldn’t want a hot tub in their garden? The only problems I can imagine people having are the sight of semi-clad neighbors in the garden or the late nights some must spend outside making noise.
A while ago, a Dutch man felt so sorry for his neighbor’s gnome that he stole it and took it on a world tour, sending his neighbors photos of their lost ornament from different locations. This shows a reverence for gnomes that voters in this discussion clearly lack — gnomes are okay.
The Back Garden Bar or Pub
Come on, now. This is a dream for so many dads, so I cannot support this choice. However, it depends on the bar design. Anything dingy or dark will not make the cut, though a shed with some games and a few beer taps can be done with style.
Anything from pirate ships to frescos of insects, if colorful and plastic, won’t last long under a year of ultraviolet sun rays. Plastic and the elements are not best friends.
If you are growing vegetables in your garden, the last thing you need is an attack from crows or blackbirds on your hard-earned produce. A statue of a solemn owl or threatening eagle may be enough to deter those winged thieves; just lose the pink flamingos already.
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Gardening is a pastime relished by many people. There’s something about planning and cultivating a garden and seeing your efforts come to fruition. It’s a gratifying feeling. Growing the wrong plant species can dampen the joy of that experience. Avoid these plants and flowers to have a garden you’ll always enjoy and be
This originally appeared on Planet Natural.
Melissa Pino is a biologist, master gardener, and regular contributor for Planet Natural. Melissa’s work focuses on promoting environmentally-friendly practices, helping people create healthy gardens and finding ways to achieve overall health and wellness.